Men & Emotions. Huh?

 The most negative thoughts find my attention for a very brief period until taken over by a less negative thought. It's surreal to actually write it down since pondering on those dark thoughts is less of men trait(no offence). You'll seldom find men and their kind thinking about their emotions in real time. This can be attributed to the fact men are naturally conditioned to think on the lines of logic driven things like strategy, planning, analysis and when they enter into unnatural territory where emotions are piloting the scenarios it feels like losing control over perception of reality. Of course emotions inspire logic and I'm not saying men are devoid of emotions. But at least I've personally learned that most of times when emotions are given free pass over logic, it is likely you are preparing yourself for disappointment. That is why we think it in background and it always stays in the background unless a thing happens which in itself may not be always significant but triggers a visceral response . Then all of sudden there is numbness. We can no longer keep such thoughts in the background. Every little action is done in the mechanical sense losing the ability to look for purpose, reasoning, feel emotions and most importantly, happiness, aka- 'cognitive distortion' . Some do exceptional job of pretending than others, perhaps spanning years. Most of the tendencies are same for both genders, except maybe for expressing part, where men would repress their feelings more. 

It is a widely believed fact that women feel emotions of a sudden despondency to it's fullest while men continue to breath in and out of emotions over time. This is precisely because of the difference in two genders when it comes to owning their emotions. In lieu of an unpleasant situation men cannot fathom talking in first person saying "I'm disappointed, feel lost, heartbroken, derailed, etc." to anyone including themselves when our standard, instinctive & patented response is "I'll figure out". Since it's a pre-programmed response, it is desperately devoid of any acknowledgement or acceptance phase. Deary principles of truth seeking render ineffective.

Things turn ugly when such unpleasant situation, academic, professional or otherwise directly attacks your perception of your worth. Since the unpleasantness of the experience is directly correlated with level of your involvement, two people who have undergone the same experience, may vary in their pace while returning to normalcy. In truth, there's no taking away or brushing out an unpleasant experience. Especially when you acted in good faith, convinced yourself to do things that you normally wouldn't do. All this done only to reach an impasse where it ended at a moments notice and you are left feeling more stupid and hopeless than ever. The biggest source of agony in these type of deserted situations is knowing how futile the entire exercise turned out to be, especially when your entire existence is hanging in search for meaning. This agony is amplified by the fact there are only a few things in your life where you consciously prioritize your concentration and one of them meaninglessly fades. But anyhow, there's no one but you to blame for enabling participation in such a cathartic adventure. Gathering what's left, you try to seek solace in the notion that things could have been worse and also you have other things planned for. 

Women in this context share a resilient sisterhood where they can authoritatively sulk at each other's expense to improve from such unpleasant experiences. Men on the other hand can collaborate with each other and plan to go to mars but, the moment it is about looking after each others emotional wellbeing, it feels as awkward as the sound of scratching nails on a blackboard as they find themselves equally ill-equipped and helpless(of course there maybe exceptions). An unreasonable solution to this would be for men to share an amicable communion  amongst themselves (I myself doubt this possibility). Another solution would be to intentionally introduce feminine energy in your life other than immediate family where you could occasionally implode, unjudged and unreserved so as to prevent a heart attack in your 30's or 40's. This is only possible if that woman is an empathetic listener (I doubt the possibility of this too).